Update

So I went to OB/GYN Thursday for my day 3 sono and all looked fine. Even my blood pressure didn't skyrocket (partially b/c I thought I was just there for a sono and knew they wouldn't be examining me) terribly high! After the sono I met with the doctor because he wanted to make sure we were on the same page, treatment wise. He prescribed Clomid and wanted to do some injections as well, he even asked if I remembered how much they were last time I did them (over a year ago). I couldn't remember but I didn't *think* they were that bad so the nurse called the pharmacy and checked. $305!!! For 3 shots! And of course, my insurance won't cover a darn thing (they want prior authorization, which takes 2-5 days that we didn't have, and they probably would have denied it anyway). Dr. Wai overheard the cost and knew our financial situation (and knew that I could save that money for an IUI if this round of Clomid doesn't work) and just doubled my Clomid dosage and said we might use the trigger shot I already have at the day 14 sono if I have a good follicle. So, we'll see. I know I am not doing all I could do since I am not doing the injections, but they didn't work last time, so I know I can just save that money to put towards the IUI that has a better shot anyway. I love the fact that Dr. Wai and his office staff didn't make me feel bad for not wanting to pay $305 for the injections. He is a great doctor and I love his nurses as well. This was proven to me even more over the weekend when my best friend had her baby and she said he was awesome (which was a different experience from her 1st birth with our old doctor that we both went to).

So, here's to hoping/praying this works by some miracle of God. I go back on May 2nd. Hope the Clomid is nice to everyone in the meantime. :)

Ladies Man

The other day I picked Logan up from MDO and a little girl came out of the classroom next to his to tell him good-bye...she's not even in his class. He kind of grinned and said bye and I asked him who it was (he told me, I just can't remember her name).

Me: Is that your girlfriend?
L: Yes.
Me: I thought Emery and Andie were your girlfriends?
L: They are.
Me: Well, how many girlfriends do you have?
L: I think maybe 4.
Me: Really? Wow. You are quite the ladies' man.
L: Yeah. Cash is a ladies' man, too. We're both ladies' mans.

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Then yesterday we were at a friends' house painting Easter pictures and he made 2 extra pictures for 2 of his girlfriends, Emery and Andie. We had to take them to school today so he could put them in their cubbies. I am in so much trouble...

Logan and Uncle Ryan (his Ladies' Man mentor)

Still Nothing

I went to my OB/GYN for my annual appointment a couple weeks ago...man, do I hate going there. My blood pressure shoots through the roof and I have to convince them that it's not normally high, I just have major white coat syndrome, especially at *that* type of doctor. Then they look through my chart and see how much it fluctuates and believe me. I knew going in that I was going to discuss doing more fertility meds since it has been almost a year since we last went to the specialist. I was hoping we could do some more Clomid, injections, and sonograms at the OB/GYN so it could be coded as irregular cycles or something and actually be covered by insurance, whereas at the specialist, it most definitely is not covered. When I brought it up, my doctor was kind of hesitant. He confirmed that I do most likely have mild PCOS, which explains why I don't ovulate regularly (if at all), and therefore am having such a hard time getting pregnant. He made it known that he would rather send me back to the specialist but upon seeing my frustration/desperation and hearing about the $125 sonograms, he agreed to do another Clomid cycle with me. Of course, I know it may not work (again) but it's worth a shot (literally, I have a leftover injection from last year we may get to use!). After that, then hopefully I will have the courage to go back to the specialist and just get it done because obviously nothing else was working. I am so incredibly desperate to be pregnant again and even more desperate to just have another baby. I have even been joking around about adopting (not really joking, I am not at all against it, I just want to be pregnant again).

So wish me luck tomorrow at my day 3 sonogram and all donations toward the specialist are being accepted at this time. :)

Happy 4th Birthday!

He's officially 4. I have a 4 year old. Wow. Logan has had an awesome birthday week--His birthday party was at Church at the Cross Kidztown Treehouse and it was stress-free and low key, the easiest birthday party he's had yet. All the kids had a ball and then, of course, we went to Fuzzy's that night with friends and family to break in the patio, as is our tradition.

Sunday night Heather, Ryan, & T-Luv came over for dinner since T-Luv was going to be out of town for his birthday. He got Logan a real harmonica and a new Spiderman bike since his other one was not the highest quality and was already a bit small for him. Logan was excited about the bike but is a little hesitant to use it because it is harder to pedal and it stops when he pedals backward, which he doesn't like.

Tuesday Aunt Toni took him on a birthday date to Legoland & Rainforest Cafe in Grapevine Mills Mall. He loved every minute of it and enjoyed going somewhere he had never been before. Of course, since I wasn't able to go I made sure they took a bunch of pictures.

Logan's self-taken picture of him and Aunt Toni

Wednesday was his actual birthday and when he woke up I made him pancakes and he decorated them with sprinkles and sang Happy Birthday and blew out a candle. He had school that day. It was a bonus that it was PJ Day at school so he got to wear his new Superman PJ's from Aunt Sarah and Lillie. He also picked out cupcakes to take to school.

 

That night he opened his gifts from Mommy & Daddy--a case for his Leapster Explorer (and the teeny tiny games he's slowly collecting), a Scooby Doo beach towel, Scooby Doo books, and a Scooby Doo movie. He was so excited about all of it. I love that it doesn't take much to please him and he was probably most excited about the books, which I love even more. Then we ate dinner and had a chocolate cake I made, upon his request, and then he and Chris played tackle.

It was a great 4th birthday and he is growing up so fast. I wish he would stop growing but last night he told me he "had to grow so he could do Daddy stuff...working, going out of town like T-Luv, playing golf, baseball, and football." He has big ideas, this kid. And I love that he idolizes his Dad and T-Luv. He's going to be a wonderful man someday. Happy Birthday Logan. We love you more than you'll ever know.

Just Yesterday

I cannot believe Logan is going to be four years old next week. I know all parents say this, but the time has literally flown by.

• It seems like just yesterday I discovered I was pregnant (by surprise) and called my sister freaking out.
• It seems like just yesterday I was pulling over on the side of EVERY FREAKING road to get sick...the entire 9 months! And yet, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat and hopefully will get that chance.
• It seems like just yesterday I was at my baby shower, horribly huge and miserable in my 8th month of pregnancy. 
• It seems like just yesterday that I was yelling at Chris in the hospital room to pay attention to me instead of trying to find something to watch on TV.
• It seems like just yesterday that we decided to do a c-section because I just wasn't dilating and I remember crying, thinking I wasn't doing enough to make it happen. 
• It seems like just yesterday that they brought you to me and we took our first family picture in the OR...yet I couldn't hold you for another 2 or 3 hours, the longest wait of my life.
• It seems like just yesterday that the waiting room at the hospital was FILLED with friends and family that waited for you to come all day (and all 9 months for that matter). We are so blessed to have so many people that love us. You have no idea how many pictures were taken of you within your first hour of life! :)
• It seems like just yesterday we took you home and just stared at you, partially in awe and partially not knowing what to do.
• It seems like just yesterday when Aunt Toni had to "assist" you in going to the bathroom by way of glycerin stick. Sorry about that. Nothing like seeing a glycerin stick get shot across the room, though. You sure don't have that problem now. :)
• It seems like just yesterday that I was waking up every hour and a half to feed you, watching Law & Order: SVU with Aunt Toni in the middle of the night. We were so lucky to have her stay with us for 2 weeks and help me with you, especially in the middle of the night.
• It seems like just yesterday you turned one and were walking all over the place. You were such a cute, chubby baby.
• It seems like just yesterday we took you off the bottle (15 months) and got rid of the pacifier (22 months). I hated taking those away, they were what made you my baby.
• It seems like just yesterday that you went from babbling to full on talking. And now we can't get you to stop.
• It seems like just yesterday you were cuddled in my arms reading a book before bed and singing songs. Oh wait, it was. We still do that, every night. I love it. I hope you let me do that for many years to come.

I love you more than words can even say. This is not a conclusive list by any means. I can't even begin to describe how my heart fills up every morning when you wake up and just want me to hold you. Or when you get hurt and only want me, like I can fix everything and make it better. While that is not at all true, I love that you stop crying once you are in my arms and I can kiss it to make it better. Sure, there are days when your stubborn attitude and strong-willed nature frustrate me to no end, but I can only hope that those attributes will help you succeed later in life and that I am teaching you how to use those traits for good rather than evil. :)
I love you and it has been the best 4 years of my entire life.

Your birth day~April 6, 2007~5:17 pm

1st Birthday

2nd birthday

3rd birthday

March 2011

Smart Boy

Tonight at bedtime Chris was reading Logan some books and one of the books had the life cycle of the caterpillar/butterfly in it. When Logan saw the caterpillar he continued to tell Chris the life cycle and then came out to tell me. When he told me, I assumed they already read about it and that was how he knew. Apparently not. Chris said he hadn't even read that part yet. That boy amazes me.

Logan: "That's a caterpillar and it becomes a butterfly. It goes into a 'raccoon' and stays for 5 days and then becomes a butterfly!"

He also went to Fort Worth Nature Center with Heather and T-Luv today and said he wished he had a magnifying glass so he could see things bigger. How does he know this stuff?? All those Scooby Doo mysteries, I suppose. Of course, T-Luv bought him one at the gift shop. :)

My Baseball Boy

 Logan started t-ball a couple weeks ago and it's so fun (and a little sad) to see that he is no longer my baby, my toddler, but he is an actual little boy. He is all about chasing the ball, playing in the dirt, riding his bike, and looking for bugs (he's fascinated with them, but won't dare touch them). He is now a BOY. While I absolutely love this stage and all the discoveries and imaginative stories that come with it, it saddens me to see how fast he is growing. He loves t-ball, though. His first practice was on March 10th and it was with the Hot Rods, a team we are no longer with due to the horrific first impression we got of the league at the Team Mom meeting. Luckily, Uncle Ryan was able to pull some strings and get him on a team in Euless, a much more laid back, enjoyable t-ball experience. He is now a part of the Lugnuts. He loved practice and did great at hitting and fielding the ball. He was one of the few that actually seemed to pay attention and listen to the coach. He did so great and was having so much fun that I even caught myself getting a little teary-eyed at his practice. Silly, I know, but it's the little things like that that always get me. From now on, it's going to be practices and games and parties, not Gymboree and tummy time. He is such a fun, energetic, imaginative little boy. I look forward to seeing him grow...just not so fast.

Listening to the coach

Look at that swing!

Running the bases