Sleep? Who Needs That?

Who needs sleep when you have HANDS?! Hands are the best.thing.ever!

This boy. He exhausts me and frustrates me and then he grins. And I melt. 

This whole sleep thing is a constant battle. I'm sure I missed my 'window' for easy sleep training. It didn't occur to me that this would even be a battle. There are too many other influences this time around: Google, baby boards, friends with kids (with Logan I was the first of my friends to have a kid pretty much), etc. I know too much this time around therefore I judge myself and I am hard on myself.

With Logan I was quite clueless. I didn't know about the EASY routine (eat, active, sleep, you)--which Benjamin has down pat, btw. I don't even remember what I did with him but I don't remember him being this difficult when it came to sleeping. He was difficult in other ways but he slept pretty well if I remember correctly. 

I say "difficult" with a bit of hesitation. I'm trying not to constantly compare myself or Benjamin to others. Benjamin isn't difficult if you don't mind rocking him to sleep and either holding him or waiting til he's passed smooth out before putting him down (preferably in his swing or rock n' play). It's when you try the whole "put them down drowsy" thing. That is a no-go for the B man. He doesn't do the cute fuss and then settle thing. Nope. He will watch his rainforest music thing for a couple minutes and then realize 'wait a minute, I'm alone in here.' Then it's an all out wail with tears and shaking limbs. Or, if swaddled, screams while wrestling his arms free. And there's no settling him down at that point. I've tried. I've shushed, patted, rocked the crib even, but when he is mad, he's really mad. Even picking him up, it takes a while to calm him back down typically. 

But shush, pat, rock him to sleep in your arms and then lay him in the swing or rock n' play? Good to go. For anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours. But the process of shush, pat, rock can take just about as long depending on his mood. So that's exhausting. But at least then he naps. 

The same is true for bedtime. Plus he's still waking up every 3-4 hours to eat. Without fail. I think I've gotten one 5 hour stretch but that's it. 

So there's my quandary. Keep the routine we've got because at least he is sleeping or keep trying the crib thing? Are some kids just not self-soothers? Or am I just being too much of a wuss? I don't know that I have the strength to let him cry for any great length of time in his crib, at least not yet. He still seems so little. Maybe I'm just naive and I'm setting myself up for disaster later. But I guess I just don't see the point of letting him scream bloody murder when I can pick him up, rock/nurse him to sleep, and set him in his rock n' play by my bed. See? No strength. Babies make me weak.

He goes to the doctor for his 4 month checkup in a couple weeks so I'll discuss it with the doctor then and see what he suggests. If he says he is ready to sleep train then I will give it a more concerted effort. Until then, I think I'm just going to leave well enough alone and enjoy holding my sweet baby and deal with the consequences later. 

Just ignore my tired eyes and don't judge my iced coffee addiction.

Could you resist this face? Didn't think so. If you can, then you may need to come move in when the whole sleep training thing gets serious.