Friday, August 26, 2011

I am a Bad Wife

I don't know about anyone else, but I can't stand it when my husband is sick. I don't know if it's that I don't like seeing him "weak" or what, but I hate it. I can't even force myself to fake sympathy, I am not one to coddle and make soup for him and I hate that he gets to lay in bed and do nothing. So what do I do? Argue with him about how sick he really is and give him a hard time about everything ("If you're so tired then you probably shouldn't have the TV on.", etc.) and I am just overall rude about it. I don't know why...seriously for the life of me, I don't know why I get that way. I don't like for him to be sick and now that I stay home, I don't like for him to be home during the day because that messes with my routine. So the best I can do is ask if he took medicine and leave him alone. I'm sure he would appreciate more effort and sympathy, but I just can't do it. I think I am afraid that doing that will make his "illness" last longer so I figure being mean about it will cause him to just get over it. Isn't that horrible of me? At least I can admit it.

But ME? When I am sick? Yes, I want to be left alone but I also want some attention. Chris is much better at doing that than I am, but I don't lay it on as thick as men do. I don't get sick very often at all and if I do, I typically don't get to lay in bed all day. And I don't remember getting coddled as a kid. I'm sure my mom took great care of us when we were little, but after she passed away my dad was too busy and if we were sick then we were pretty much home alone to take care of ourselves. If we were really sick then we would get sent to Ammy's (my grandma) house and she would coddle us, but that's about it. Maybe that's why I am the way I am. I don't know how to coddle. Well, that's not true, I will coddle the heck out of Logan when he's sick, but that isn't very often at all, so I don't get to do that much. But kids are helpless, adults are not.

Sure, even if Chris isn't "really" sick, he deserves a day to do nothing. He works hard at multiple jobs to make ends meet, but I am just so stubborn that I can't stand for him to get to lay around and do nothing when I don't get to. Isn't that messed up? What is wrong with me? Is it just me or does anyone else struggle with this? Do I just need to get over it and learn to coddle?


  1. Yes you do. Read a book that tells you how. Hey, thanks for throwing me under the bus, yo.

  2. I didn't throw you under the bus. I didn't say you didn't take care of us, but you were working hard and we stayed home by ourselves when we were sick, at least that's what I remember. It didn't bother me, I preferred that over Ammy's.

  3. Girl...I adore your honesty!

    I have been married over 36 years and what you are feeling is so normal. Most women just never verbalize it. So relax and know that you are not a bad wife.

    See you at Haven!

    Janet xox