4 Months

I can't believe it's already been 4 months since Benjamin arrived. My BFF asked me if it felt like he's always been here and honestly, it hasn't. BUT it does feel more complete since he is here. We were happy with just having Logan but deep down, I always felt like something was missing. Now, that feeling is gone. I'm not sure if that means our family is complete just yet, but it feels a lot better now. 

Since he turned 4 months, it seems like he has turned a corner. He is sleeping better (hope that doesn't jinx it), happier, smilier (is that a word??), and just more fun. Itty bitty babies are cute and all but I LOVE this phase, where they are interactive, smiley, starting to laugh, and getting all chunky and stuff. 

He's still on the small side for his age (25% for weight, 5% for height) but he is just so adorable. The strawberry blond hair is still sticking around and it even has a little curl to it when he gets sweaty.

At his 4 month check-up last week the doctor said we could start oatmeal if I felt like he was interested in food or if we wanted to see if that helped him sleep at night. Well, at the time of the appointment I hadn't noticed any signs of interest in food from him. Two days later, all of a sudden he was watching us every time we ate. So we tried some oatmeal Monday night while he was taking a bath (saved myself a step right there). He did great and seemed to really enjoy it. But it didn't help with the sleeping part.  He's had it a couple more times since then but nothing routine.

This morning I decided to mash up some over-ripe banana for him to try. Just to see how he would do with it. He loved it. He kept pulling my hand closer and fussing in between bites if I wasn't fast enough. He didn't eat that much because I didn't want him to get sick but he did great with it and just woke up from an almost 2 hour nap, so it must have filled his belly.

Happy 4 months, sweet baby boy!

Pumpkin Patch Over the Years

We took our first trip the pumpkin patch as a family of four last night. Last year we had *just* discovered I was pregnant so this year was super exciting to have Benjamin with us. As I was uploading the pics from last night, I looked back at all of our old Halloween/pumpkin patch pictures over the years. It amazes me how much Logan has changed and how our family has changed. Benjamin got to wear the same Halloween sleeper that Logan wore his 1st Halloween--I am so glad I saved that all these years. It's the little things like that that I love. 

 Logan 2007:

Benjamin 2013:

2008:

2009:

 2010:

 2011:

 2012:

2013:

This Too Shall Pass...All Too Quickly

I had to remind myself of that today. I got Benjamin to sleep, he hasn't been feeling great much like myself so he has been a bit more clingy (if that's possible). I put him in his swing and, of course, he woke up. I started to get frustrated but then I realized, what else do I really need to do? I don't feel great, so why can't I just hold him and rest myself? There will be times when I need to put him down, but today is not one of them. The house/laundry/shower can wait. As soon as I picked him back up, he went right back to sleep. This won't last forever. He's already getting so big and doing more and more, soon he won't want all the snuggle time. So, for now, we sit and cuddle. 

Sleep? Who Needs That?

Who needs sleep when you have HANDS?! Hands are the best.thing.ever!

This boy. He exhausts me and frustrates me and then he grins. And I melt. 

This whole sleep thing is a constant battle. I'm sure I missed my 'window' for easy sleep training. It didn't occur to me that this would even be a battle. There are too many other influences this time around: Google, baby boards, friends with kids (with Logan I was the first of my friends to have a kid pretty much), etc. I know too much this time around therefore I judge myself and I am hard on myself.

With Logan I was quite clueless. I didn't know about the EASY routine (eat, active, sleep, you)--which Benjamin has down pat, btw. I don't even remember what I did with him but I don't remember him being this difficult when it came to sleeping. He was difficult in other ways but he slept pretty well if I remember correctly. 

I say "difficult" with a bit of hesitation. I'm trying not to constantly compare myself or Benjamin to others. Benjamin isn't difficult if you don't mind rocking him to sleep and either holding him or waiting til he's passed smooth out before putting him down (preferably in his swing or rock n' play). It's when you try the whole "put them down drowsy" thing. That is a no-go for the B man. He doesn't do the cute fuss and then settle thing. Nope. He will watch his rainforest music thing for a couple minutes and then realize 'wait a minute, I'm alone in here.' Then it's an all out wail with tears and shaking limbs. Or, if swaddled, screams while wrestling his arms free. And there's no settling him down at that point. I've tried. I've shushed, patted, rocked the crib even, but when he is mad, he's really mad. Even picking him up, it takes a while to calm him back down typically. 

But shush, pat, rock him to sleep in your arms and then lay him in the swing or rock n' play? Good to go. For anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours. But the process of shush, pat, rock can take just about as long depending on his mood. So that's exhausting. But at least then he naps. 

The same is true for bedtime. Plus he's still waking up every 3-4 hours to eat. Without fail. I think I've gotten one 5 hour stretch but that's it. 

So there's my quandary. Keep the routine we've got because at least he is sleeping or keep trying the crib thing? Are some kids just not self-soothers? Or am I just being too much of a wuss? I don't know that I have the strength to let him cry for any great length of time in his crib, at least not yet. He still seems so little. Maybe I'm just naive and I'm setting myself up for disaster later. But I guess I just don't see the point of letting him scream bloody murder when I can pick him up, rock/nurse him to sleep, and set him in his rock n' play by my bed. See? No strength. Babies make me weak.

He goes to the doctor for his 4 month checkup in a couple weeks so I'll discuss it with the doctor then and see what he suggests. If he says he is ready to sleep train then I will give it a more concerted effort. Until then, I think I'm just going to leave well enough alone and enjoy holding my sweet baby and deal with the consequences later. 

Just ignore my tired eyes and don't judge my iced coffee addiction.

Could you resist this face? Didn't think so. If you can, then you may need to come move in when the whole sleep training thing gets serious.