37 weeks!

How far along? 37 weeks today...14 days to go!
How big is baby?  According to my sonogram this past Monday, he is already a little over 7 pounds!

Total weight gain/loss? Still staying at 10 1/2 pounds--Dr says at this point I will weigh less after birth than when I started. Same thing happened with Logan. At my last visit on Monday, I actually had lost a pound.
Maternity clothes? Absolutely...actually growing out of some of the shirts I have...
Sleep? No. Horrible sleep. Can't get comfortable, hip pain, acid reflux, hot, etc.
Best moment last week? Getting the new chair for the nursery! Thanks to my awesome family friend, Carol, my dad, and my Nana. And my awesome baby showers--one given by family/friends and one thrown for us by Chris' work
Movement? Yes, painful at times.
Food cravings? Mac & cheese, chocolate ice cream, orange cream slush from Sonic, potato salad, s'mores
Food aversions? No, I just get full really fast so I don't/can't eat very much at a time. Sometimes food just doesn't taste good either.
Labor signs? Lots of Braxton Hicks, pain down low like he is dropping
Pregnancy symptoms? lots of trips to the bathroom, exhaustion, hot flashes, pain when walking a lot, heartburn/acid reflux from EVERYTHING
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: sleeping comfortably
What I am looking forward to: These last 2 weeks...hopefully they go fast. But Logan gets out of school tomorrow, so I am looking forward to spending some good quality time with him until baby time.
Milestones: 2 baby showers, last sonogram (he is head down now)
Bump picture: With my brother at my baby shower (36 wks, 4 days)

Only Child to Big Brother Anxieties

With the arrival of Benjamin happening in 22 DAYS I am having some new anxieties I wasn't really anticipating. Typically they hit me in the middle of the night after my 3 am bathroom run, after which I am usually awake for a good 2 hours. Last night's episode was especially bad.

It all hit me. I am losing my "only" child. I feel like I am grieving the loss of that--it sounds ridiculous, I know. I am not losing a child, I am gaining another one whom I have wanted for a very long time. But Logan has been my whole world for over 6 years. He has been the only child/grandchild (at least on my side) for 6 years. He has been everyone's "world."

I have tried very hard to not overdo the Benjamin talk around him. I try to not buy a lot for Benjamin when he is with me. I have really tried not to use my pregnancy as an excuse for much when it comes to doing stuff with Logan. I have tried to include him in as much as possible (such as helping pick out baby things for the registry). I don't want Logan to resent the baby before he is even here. Now, he has never shown signs of that--it's just my own paranoia. I ask questions to him occasionally--"Are you excited?" or "What do you think he will look like?" And he answers in a very matter-of-fact way and moves on. But that is his personality. He is literal and pretty straight-forward about things. Only once has he told me to stop asking about the baby and that was months ago--after which, I shut down the baby talk for a good while unless he brought it up.

I worry about how Logan is going to handle it all. It is so hard to know. I am so incredibly lucky to have a very supportive extended family who will be helping take care of Logan while I am in the hospital and even after we are home. I have made fun plans for him so that his routine will remain pretty similar and he won't be stuck at home the whole summer. Logan will not be left out, but even so, his world will be rocked. I think it is worse because he is 6 years old. Being the only child is all he has ever known.

I am not worried about having enough love to share, I guess I am just worried about losing the close bond with Logan that I have had for the past 6 years. I know him like the back of my hand. I am getting teary-eyed just typing this...and I know a lot of this is hormonal. I don't want him to feel left out or like I won't have time for him. I don't want to overly focus on the baby and inadvertently forget about Logan or make him feel that way.

Luckily, he hasn't expressed concern about any of this. He talks about the baby occasionally and how he wants to kiss him and hold him when he sees him and how he wants to play with him (or trap him in his laundry hamper when he is 1 year old--as he told me yesterday). I hope he keeps those feelings. I hope I can balance both of their needs and have the same bond with Benjamin and maintain my bond with Logan.
I am sure all of these are normal feelings but I had to get it off my chest. It has been weighing on me and I would love to hear any of your stories or advice about this subject.

But first, I will leave you with some pictures of me and my favorite little man.

Taken at his 6th birthday party

 

One of our many date nights

Mother's Day 2013--33 1/2 weeks

Seriously, could he be any more handsome?

32 Weeks

How far along? 32 weeks today...49 days to go!
How big is baby? About 16 1/2 inches and 3 1/2 pounds...about the size of a spaghetti squash

Source: countdownmypregnancy.com via Countdown on Pinterest

Total weight gain/loss? About 10 1/2 lbs...weight must be redistributing to my belly b/c my maternity pants fall off of me now. Even went down a size in the shorts I recently bought.
Maternity clothes? Uh yes. I need a few new shirts, in fact...getting tired of the same 3 or 4 that I have.
Stretch marks? No new ones
Sleep? Some good nights, some bad. Hip pain during the night from sleeping on my side is killing me.
Best moment last week? Getting the nursery more organized. Not done, but getting close. Hung most of the new decor I made, too!
Movement? Definitely. Sometimes like a crazy man.
Food cravings? Pringles, Cocoa Puffs, cookie dough, guacamole, Panera mac & cheese, sourdough bread and butter
Food aversions? No, I just get full really fast so I don't/can't eat very much at a time. Sometimes food just doesn't taste good either.
Gender? Another BOY! Benjamin Anthony
Labor signs? No, but lots of Braxton Hicks, especially on busy days
Pregnancy symptoms? Getting worn out quickly, acid reflux, Braxton Hicks contractions, some swelling in my feet after being on them a lot, going to the bathroom A LOT (every time I stand up basically!)
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: sleeping comfortably, being able to work/shop/do anything for longer periods of time without having to stop and take a break
What I am looking forward to: My next doctor appt...going every 2 weeks now which means it is getting close! 
Milestones: Growth scan from last dr appt (at 30 wks 5 days) went well...he was too active to get any decent pics but his cheek looked CHUBBY. Estimated weight 3 lbs, 4 oz. but my belly was measuring small (28 weeks)
Bump picture: (not a great picture, but it will do)

30 Weeks!

9 more weeks to go!!

How far along? 30 weeks!
How big is baby? About 15 3/4 inches and almost 3 pounds...about the size of a cabbage

Source: countdownmypregnancy.com via Tammy on Pinterest

Total weight gain/loss? I think still around 10 pounds, will know for sure at my dr appt this coming Monday
Maternity clothes? Absolutely. Found some maternity bermuda shorts finally (why do clothing designers think pregnant women need to wear shorty shorts??) 
Stretch marks? No new ones
Sleep? Actually getting better. Fatigue is kicking in again, so early bedtimes are a must but I don't feel like I toss and turn as much
Best moment last week? He had his first set of noticeable hiccups (Chris felt them too) and I got the dresser painted and the nursery is coming together!
Movement? All the time! Big movements and rolls, less kicking--he must be running out of room
Food cravings? Pringles, Cocoa Puffs, Blow Pops (healthy, right?), roasted green beans, steak, potato salad, potatoes, Panera mac & cheese, sourdough bread and butter
Food aversions? No, I just get full really fast so I don't/can't eat very much at a time
Gender? Another BOY! Benjamin Anthony
Labor signs? No, but lots of Braxton Hicks, especially on busy days
Pregnancy symptoms? Getting worn out easily, first experience with hemorrhoids, acid reflux, dizzy/hot flashes and almost passing out like I did with Logan, most likely due to baby sitting on a nerve or vein, Braxton Hicks contractions, some swelling in my feet after being on them a lot, going to the bathroom A LOT (every time I stand up basically!)
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: sleeping comfortably, being able to work/shop/do anything for longer periods of time without having to stop and take a break
What I am looking forward to: Dr appt this Monday--we are getting another sono to check the growth, getting more nursery decor done!
Milestones: Passing the glucose test, hiccups
Bump picture: None this time...

First Loose Tooth & 6 Year Checkup

Logan has had a loose tooth (bottom middle right) for a couple months now. He refused to let us pull it. Or even mess with it. It was so loose that it would almost lay flat when he pulled it forward but he wouldn't dare pull it, for fear it would hurt. But it needed to come out--the permanent tooth was already coming in behind it!

The day after his 6th birthday, it finally fell out, just not how we intended. Jacob fell on top of him and knocked it out...and then Chris couldn't find it. Anywhere. He combed the carpet, knowing that it was Logan's first tooth and he had a 7 month pregnant, hormonal wife. No luck. We are assuming he swallowed it.

Logan was very concerned about the Tooth Fairy not coming since he didn't have the actual tooth, so he wrote her a note:

I love that "tooth" is "TOF" and his sweet little heart.

Of course she came and left him 2 whole dollars! He told me that he thought "the tooth fairy was so nice because she left him $2 even though she didn't get to take his tooth."

Hopefully the next tooth won't be so traumatic and we will actually be able to keep it.

**********************

The following Monday he had his 6 year checkup--no shots or blood drawn or anything, so he was a happy camper. We found out he is healthy (duh) and we really don't have to go back for 2 years if we don't want to (other than for sick visits--which are few and far between with him anyway). 

Stats:

Height: 45" (30%)

Weight: 43 lbs. (30%)

Perfectly proportionate, just on the scrawny side. I always thought he was so tall, guess I was wrong...

Six Years Old--Really?!?

Last weekend Logan turned 6. I am still in disbelief--didn't I just write about his 5th birthday (and here)?! He had a great, low-key birthday party at his favorite park by our house, followed by dinner with the family, and a fun sleepover with a friend. 

Celebrating at school the day before with rice krispie treats

Chocolate chip pancakes for his birthday breakfast

Opening presents from Mommy & Daddy

Cupcake time--Pokemon, of course

Some of his friends at the party

Playing Pokemon with their cupcake rings

Logan and Jacob at Babe's for his birthday dinner

Beaks and chicken hats for the birthday song

And Jacob got to sleepover that night!

I found a birthday interview on Pinterest and thought I would do it with him this year. I have meaning to do one for the past few years, but it just never happened. 

Logan, age 6:
1. Who is your favorite person in the whole world? Reagan
2. What is your favorite color? Blue & red
3. What's your favorite TV show? My Little Pony
4. What sport do you like best? Baseball
5. What song do you love? Veggietales songs
6. What's your favorite cereal? Reese's Puffs
7. Who is your best friend? Olivia & Reagan
8. What do you want to be when you grow up? A magician and I want to go to outer space once
9. What is your favorite book? Scooby Doo
10. What are you really good at? Counting
11. Where do you wish you could go on vacation? Disneyworld
12. What would you buy if you had $1000? Everything
13. What vegetable do you hate the most? Tomatoes
14. If you could have one wish, what would it be? To get that Angry Birds Star Wars hat
15. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Chocolate--I'm so a fan of chocolate!!
16. Who is your biggest hero? Daddy
17. What do you like to do best with your friends? Play with them
18. What is your favorite thing to learn about in school? The ocean, but I wish we could learn about dinosaurs
19. What is your favorite food? Donuts and macaroni & cheese
20. What do you hope you'll get to do before your next birthday? Go to Disneyworld

Happy birthday, sweet boy. We love you more than you know and we can't wait to see you as a big brother in a couple months. I always tell you to stop growing and you always tell me you can't because you have to grow up to be big and work like Daddy. I love that you idolize your Daddy so much (and rightfully so) and that you are so sweet and loveable, always giving hugs and kisses (don't get me wrong, you have your angry/frustrated moments--we talk about self-control a lot). You are learning to read and getting smarter every day in Kindergarten. I can't believe 1st grade is right around the corner. I wish I could stop time (or go back in time) right now and keep you just the way you are. You won't have that, though, so just stay my sweet, funny, bright, creative little boy for as long as possible.

26 Weeks

How far along? 26 weeks and 1 day 

How big is baby? About 14 inches and 1 1/2 pounds...about the size of a hothouse cucumber

Source: countdownmypregnancy.com via Tammy on Pinterest

Total weight gain/loss? As of my last visit 2 weeks ago, I am at 10 pounds...I am sure it will start creeping up on me, though.
Maternity clothes? Yes. Just bought some new Spring ones last week!  
Stretch marks? No new ones
Sleep? Not comfortable.
Best moment last week? Other people being able to feel him kick, calling him by his name
Movement? Yes! He has become more active and I notice him moving when I am up doing things instead of just when I am laying down. He is into full-on rolling now--a very strange sensation.
Food cravings? Blow pops, pb&j's
Food aversions? No, I just get full really fast so I don't/can't eat very much at a time
Gender? Another BOY! Benjamin Anthony
Labor signs? No
Pregnancy symptoms? Getting worn out easily, hard to breathe at times, itchy/stretching stomach, acid reflux, started having some dizzy/hot flashes and almost passing out like I did with Logan, most likely due to baby sitting on a nerve or vein
Belly button in/out? In
What I miss: sleeping comfortably
What I am looking forward to: Starting on the nursery. I have the bedding but the room needs to be cleaned out and painted before we can make progress
Milestones: Lots of kicking/movement, Logan and other people feeling him kick, lots of people noticing the belly more-- I must have really popped!  
Bump picture: 

  
Feeling huge but I'm all belly at this point. There is no telling how huge I am going to be by the end of this...13 weeks to go!!